i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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