You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
im holly from the hills drunk
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
