I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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