Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
