I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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