I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
