Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
