I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
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There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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