The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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