so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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