I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
