Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
