why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
