I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
