wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
