It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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