you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
