I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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