i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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