what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
