Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
