I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I could fuck to npr.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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