guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
