some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
