Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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