He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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