No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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