ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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