You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
