im about as happy as oj after his trial
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I had to cum in my sink.
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