It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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