i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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