i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
