In the future we'll all be gay
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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