You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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