In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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