All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
All the doctor said was why
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize