good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I wish there were birth control emojis
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
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