Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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