I just pynch a tree in the face
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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