New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
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If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
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Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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