I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
