Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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