I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
