So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
