What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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