I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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