i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
