I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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