I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
