grandma shit on top of the toilet
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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