I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
vagina is talking i cant
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
