i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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