if you like me you must not know who I am
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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