WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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