it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
God, I missed his penis.
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