You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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