Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize