video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
