Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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