I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize