She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
