I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
