I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
