Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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