so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i think im in europe. pls send help
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize