You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
